I watch a lot of TV. Some choices are kinda shameful. I noticed in most reality shows, people are constantly seeking advices from others because their life is just soooo dramatic. Most of the time, I could almost guess what the advisor would say to help. Here are my top three guesses.
1: "Just be who you are. "
This is the lamest advice in the history of mankind. I remember the first time when someone gave me this advice. I was 14. I had a crush on some body, of course. I asked his friend:" I just added him to my ICQ (pre-iOS, pre-FB, pre-MSN). What should I do?" This grade 7 boy said:" just be who you are." I remember thinking, "wow, that's just so profound. Not only that, but it sounds really poetic." Though I kinda know what he meant but I still didn't know what he was saying. Nowadays, it's hard to go through a day without hearing people say, "I am who i am", "you are who you are", "It is what it is", "don't let anyone change you from being who you are", etc, etc. The reason why this is the worst advice is because, Okay, do you even know who the person is? Does the person even know who they really are? Perhaps the root of their problem is because of the fact that they are who they are? For example, when Jeb Bush hired a consultant for his campaign, the consultant told him to, you guess it, "just be who you are". Jeb was like, "I have to pay someone to tell me this?"
2:"Stay true to yourself."
This usually comes in a combo, "bro, you are who you are, just stay true to yourself. " Again, it's equally empty. But for most people, they would just nod and nod, and absorb it as if they have just been enlightened. No one wanted to appear dumb by asking back, "can you be more specific? Like, what de hell am I supposed to do? Who should I give this rose to?" Which leads to lame advice number 3.
3. "Just follow your heart."
Your heart is where your love resides, so my guess is that this proverb is asking us to follow our emotion and feeling? Right? Maybe it's a good advice to some people, but it's kinda confusing to a chink. In Chinese, we write the word think as "想”. The word heart is written as "心”. It's part of "想”. When we say "I think" we literally say it as "my heart is thinking." Therefore, am I supposed to act upon logic and reasons when I am told to "follow my heart". If I were to give out the final rose, should I give it to an eye candy --- six-pack, six feet, dripping with sexuality or should I give it to a nice guy?
To sum up everything I have said so far, I can use this lyric from one of my favourite songs, "You say it all when you say nothing at all."
There are three short and sweet advices that actually deserve more credits. They are truly helpful and practical, not to mention extremely easy to remember.
1 "Well, who cares."
A lot of times when we think we have done something stupid, we need to remember that no one cares about us. No one spends a great deal of their life remembering what you have done in your life. Everyone has their own stupidities to dwell on.
2 "Just forget it."
Yes, really helpful. I don't know about you, but I find it so easy to forget and move on. Sometimes I am not even sure if it's normal. But I guess that is just who I am. (Oops)
3 "Ohh, shut up."
It's something that I need to control myself on a daily basis. Let's face it, gossips are so juicy that it's hard not to spill it all over the place. So, before we speak, ask ourselves 5 questions: T.H.I.N.K
Is it True?
Is it Hepful?
Is it Important?
Is it Necessary?
Is it Kind?
If it's not any of the above, then just shut the hell up.